Dispatched this week to 88 countries AND the Bedford, Massachussets,
  offices of Thinking Machines Corporation, it's...

THIS is TRUE for 5 November 1995      Copyright 1995 by Randy Cassingham
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SOUTHERN EXPOSURE: Brazilian lingerie manufacturer DuLoren has decided
  not to use a photograph of U.S. First Lady Hillary Clinton in their
  advertisements. The photographer had been in just the right position
  to see up Ms Clinton's skirt -- her underwear is clearly visible in
  the resulting photo. "We want [the ad] to say that daring women don't
  mind letting their panties be seen," said a spokesman for the agency
  which created the ad. But DuLoren pulled the ad, noting "The only
  person that didn't ask that the ad not run was [President] Clinton
  himself." DuLoren is the same company who hired Hollywood hooker
  Devine Brown for an ad after she was caught by police in Hugh Grant's
  car. (Reuter, AP) ...Well sure Bill wanted to see: it's been a long
  time.

THE NUMBER'S UP: A math professor at the University of California,
  Irvine, has figured out how to beat lotto. Mark Finkelstein's method
  involves waiting for the jackpot to pass $18 million, and then
  betting on the least-popular numbers -- betting on more popular
  numbers increases the chance that you'll have to share the jackpot,
  thus reducing earnings. He estimates his method will, over time, earn
  a 14% return on the money invested. The catch? It takes 2.3 million
  years of play to ensure the strategy is profitable. "Actually, I
  guess you'd be better off with your money in a CD," Finkelstein said.
  (LA Times) ...2.3 million years? Isn't that about the same time it
  takes anyway?

MIRACLE CHILD: Severino Antinori, Italy's leading fertility specialist,
  has confirmed that he has agreed to provide assistance to a Catholic
  parish priest from Tuscany who is infertile, but wants to have a
  child. Antinori says the 37-year-old priest, "a handsome young man,"
  told him that "the Old and New Testaments urge all men to go forth
  and multiply. They do not specify how." (Reuter) ...But the church
  has been specific about the hows for centuries.

SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME: Five years ago, LaVerne Pavlinac
  told Oregon police she and her boyfriend had murdered a woman, even
  though, she testified at her trial, they really didn't -- she just
  wanted her boyfriend "off her back". They were both sentenced to
  life. Now, the real killer may have been found, and Pavlinac hopes
  she'll get her freedom. Is she bitter? No, she says, but "I'm kind of
  upset with the way my case wasn't investigated. They just took my
  word for it and didn't try to find out anything else." (AP) ...Funny
  how they do that.

EUROPEAN DISUNION: Manuel Wackenheim, 28, a Frenchman, has asked the
  European Court of Human Rights to overturn a French court decision
  that has banned his line of work: he is a dwarf who has made his
  living by being "tossed" by patrons in bars and nightclubs. "Banning
  him from his work is a restriction of liberty," his lawyer asserts,
  noting that his 97-pound, 3-foot 10-inch client has never been
  injured. Wackenheim rejects arguments that dwarf-tossing is a
  degrading spectacle. "This spectacle is my life; I want to be allowed
  to do what I want." (Reuter) ...With a precedent like this, a lot of
  professions will have to go.

TRICK OR TREAT: A police officer in Paulsboro, N.J., wearing a clown
  suit over his bulletproof vest, got a lot of treats on Halloween
  night -- a dozen people with outstanding arrest warrants. He went
  door to door, asking each time for a fugitive known to live there.
  "You don't get a `He's not home' on Halloween," explained chief of
  police Kenneth Ridinger. The idea started two years ago, when an
  officer dressed as Batman arrested four people. Police may take a
  break next year. "If we do it every year, everybody will start
  shutting their doors and the poor kids can't get their candy," the
  chief said. (AP) ...Now THERE is a good idea.

ALL SYSTEMS GO: Stephen Bennett of northern England hopes he will be the
  first amateur rocket builder to get a rocket into space, which by
  convention starts 75 km above the Earth's surface. He plans a test
  November 5; "if it flies and comes back to Earth in one piece, I've
  been successful and I will know I can get my next rocket into space"
  within a few months, he says. The rocket is fueled by cane sugar.
  (Reuter) ...That's nothing: I've seen children on cane sugar reach
  orbit.

TIED UP AT THE OFFICE: San Jose, Calif., suffered a massive case of
  traffic gridlock Friday when a woman in a bikini was seen whipping a
  man wearing only a leather G-string at a busy downtown intersection.
  Officers arrived to find "everything was covered," a police spokesman
  said. "They weren't breaking any laws, so what could we do?" The
  couple were participating in a radio station contest to perform the
  "most outrageous prank". They won. (UPI) ...Big deal: we see stuff
  like that in Hollywood every day.

BETTER RUN, MUM: "British Army, Short of Troops, Targets Mothers" --
  Reuter headline