From The Sound of Music: Heard: "High on a hill stood a lonely goat turd...." ### Song: "Foxy Lady" by Jimi Hendrix: Actual: "Excuse me, while I kiss the sky." Heard: "Excuse me, while I kiss this guy." "Excuse me while I piss disguised" ### Song: "Forever Man" by Eric Clapton: Actual: "You could be my forever woman, I could be your forever man..." Heard: "You could be my four legged woman, I could be your four legged man" ### Song: "Final Countdown" by Europe: Heard: "The Fight of Downtown" ### Song: "Desperado" by Eagles: Heard: "El Dorado" ### Song: "Eyes without a Face" by Billy Idol: Heard: "HOWS ABOUT A DATE." ### Song: "Invisible Touch" by Genesis: Actual: "She seems to have that invisible touch, yeah" Heard: "She sees the hat and she doesn't wanna touch it" "She has an invisible tough shit" ### Actual: "... looking for my lost shaker of salt" Heard: "... looking for my lost chigger and saul" ### Actual: "Junglelove it's driving me mad..." Heard: "chug-a-lug it's driving me mad..." ### Song: "Mmm Mmm Mmm MMm" by the Crash test dummies: Actual: "He said that it was from when the cars had smashed so hard" Heard: "He said that it was from when the cars had smashed his sword" ### Song: "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys: Actual: "Oh my god, it's a mirage. I'm tellin y'all it's sabotage" Heard: "Oh my god, it's Tom Bernard. I'm tellin y'all it's sabotage" ### Song: ??? by Offspring: Actual: "Getting weapons with the greatest of ease" Heard: "Giving wedgies with the greatest of ease" ### Song: "Karma Chameleon" by Culture Club: Heard: "Become A Comedian" ### Song: "Lightning Crashes" by Live: Heard: "I can feel it comin' back again Like a roll of thunder chasin' the wind Musta Booah if I seem to have a love I guess I can feel it..." ### Song: 1959 by Sister of mercy: Heard: "like a little child, like another gun like homeless, restless known to none like a way big hunk of lime ..." ### Song: "I'm On Fire" by Bruce Springsteen: Actual: "...sometimes it's like someone took a knife baby edgy and dull and cut a six inch valley through the middle of my soul." Heard: "...sometimes it's like someone took a knife baby edgy and dull and cut a six inch belly through the middle of my skull." ### Song: ??? by Foreigner: Heard: "Cuz I'm Hot Blooded, check it and see. ### Song: "Bring me some water" by Eddie Money: Heard: "Fucked that horse in the ass, with my last dying gasp" ### Song: "Strong Man." by Sheryl Crow: Actual: "Are you strong enough to be my man?" Heard: "Are you long enough to be my man?" ### Song: "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" (Christmas Carol) Actual: Later on we'll conspire, As we dream by the fire. Heard: Later on we'll perspire, As we dream by the fire. ### Song: "Don't Pay the Ferryman"by Chris DeBergh: Actual: "Don't pay the ferryman; don't even fix a price." Heard: "Don't pay the ferryman; don't even fix HIM RICE!" ### Song: "Forever in Bluejeans" by Neil Diamond: Heard: "REVEREND Bluejeans." ### Song: "Saftey Dance" by Men Without Hats: Heard: "Let's save Gdansk." ### Song: "Armageddon It" by Def Leppard: Heard: "I'm an Idiot" ### Song: "Walk of Life" by Dire Straits: Actual: "Do the song about the sweet lovin' woman." Heard: "Do the song about the seagull and the woman." ### Song: "Cry for Help" by Rick Astley Actual: "All that I need is to cry for help." Heard: "All that I need is the power of hell." ### Actual: "Smoke on the water, fire in the sky." Heard: "Slow motion Walter, fire engine guy." "Smoke on the water, a fire in disguise." "Sbocco nel water" (pronounced: sbokko nel vater) (Italian for "I vomit into the w.c.") ### Song: "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" by Elton John: Actual: "You can't plant me in your penthouse." Heard: "I can't stand being your penpal." ### Song " Pour Some Sugar On Me " by Def Leppard: Actual: "Pour some sugar on me, come on, fire me up " Heard: "Pour some sugar on me, come on, fatten me up " ### Song: ??? by The Black Crows: Actual: "...Because your so had to handle now" Heard: "...Because the handy man 's here now" ### Song: "You give me all I need" by The Scorpions: Heard: "You get me on my knees" ### Song: "Danger Zone" by Kenny Logins Heard: "Fly me with a chain saw" ### Song: "Suicide Blonde" by INXS: Heard: "Soup and Salad Bar" ### Actual: "jealousy" Heard: "hey chelsea" ### Actual: "I foold around and fell in love" Heard: "I screwed around and fell in love". ### Song: "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" by The Beatles: Actual: "...the girl with kaleidoscope eyes" Heard: "...the girl with colitis goes by" ### Actual: "Takin' care of business" Heard: "Takin' care of biscuits " ### Song: "Big ole jet airliner" by Steve Miller Band: Heard: "Bagels, jam, and a lighter" "Big old Jed had a light on." ### Song: "Wig Wam Bam" by The Sweet: Actual: "Hiawatha didn't bother too much" Heard: "How you're walking didn't bother too much" ### Song: "Africa" by Toto: Actual: "I bless the rains down in Africa" Heard: "I left my brains down in Africa". ### Actual: "Can't get enough" Heard: "Can't get it up" ### Song: "Flintstones" by the BC-52's: Actual: "They're the modern stone age family" Heard: "Theyre the lotta-stomach family" ### Song: "Flintstones" by the BC-52's: Actual: "Let's ride with the family down the street Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet" Heard: "Let's ride with the family down the street to the good place for our Fred to eat" ### Song: "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" by The Beatles: Actual: "Lucy in the sky with diamonds" Heard: "Lookie in the sky, it's Dinah!" "Lucy in disguise with diamonds" ### Actual: "Wrapped up like a deuce, another runner in the night" Heard: "Wrapped up like a douche, in a rubber in the night" ### Song "Sign your name across my heart" by Terence Trent D'arby: Actual: "Sign your name across my heart" Heard: "Suddendly you cross my arms" ### Song: "The Sea Refuses No River" by Pete Townshend: Heard: "The singer abuses no river." ### Actual: "Life in the fast lane" Heard: "Flies in the backswing" ### Actual: "Someone saved my life tonight" Heard: "someone shaved my wife tonight...with Christmas Bells" ### Actual: "You can rely on the old man's money" Heard: "You can rely on the big bad bunny" ### Actual: "Dirty deeds done dirt cheap" Heard: "Dirty jeans in a dumb dirt jeep" ### Actual: "The answer my friends is blowing in the wind" Heard: "The ants are my friends, they're blowing in the wind" ### Song: ??? by Pink Floyd: Heard: "If you don't beat your meat, you don't get any pudding" ### Song: "Constant Craving" by k.d. lang: Heard: "Can't Stand Gravy" ### Song, "more than a feeling" by Boston: Actual: "All I want is to have some piece of mind" Heard: "All I want is to have a piece of pie" ### Song: "I Like It Like That" by ???: Actual: "Come on, ...., let me show you where it's at" Heard: "Come on, ...., let me show you where I sat" ### Song: "Help, Help Me, Rhonda" by The Beach Boys: Heard: "Ever since she left There've been owls puking in my bed..." ### Song: "We are spirits in the material world" by The Police: Heard: "We are spirits eating our cereal now" ### Song: Alabama Song by the Doors: Actual: "Show me the way to the next whiskey bar. Oh, don't ask why. Oh, don't ask why." Heard: "Show me the way to the next whiskey bar. Oh, Donut Squad. Oh, Donut Squad." ### Song "Games Without Frontiers" by Peter Gabriel: Actual: "Jeux sans frontiers" Heard: "She's so fucked you know" "She's so fun-ky now" ### Song "Smells like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana: Actual: "a denial, a denial, a denial." Heard: "bloody die young, bloody die young" ### Song: "Everytime you go away" by Paul Young: Actual: "Every time you go away, you take a piece of me with you" Heard: "Every time you go away, you take a piece of meat with you" ### Song: "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen: Heard: "Beelzebub has a devil for a sideboard" ### Song: "Carribean Queen" by Billy Ocean: Heard: "Caribou Queen". ### Song: "Lucille" by Kenny Rogers: Actual: "You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille Four-hundred children and a crop in the field Heard: "You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille Four hungry children and a crop in the field" "You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille Four-hundred children took a crap in the field" "You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille With four hungry chilren a a crotch that wont heal" ### Song: "Come sail away with me." by Styx: Heard: "Some stayed awake with me." ### Song: "Angel of Harlem" by U2: Heard: "Angels have Hard-ons." ### Song: "Beast of Burden" by The Rolling Stones: Actual: "I'll never be your Beast of Burden." Heard: "I'll never eat your Pizza burnin'." ### Song: "Pour Some Sugar On Me." by Def Leppard: Heard: "Awesome sugar of love In the name of love Awesome sugar of love Come on tie me up Awesome sugar of love Oh, I can't get it up" ### Song: "Leather and Lace" by Fleetwood Mac: Heard: "...try not to pee-eee after drowning..." ### Song: "Scarborough Fair" by Simon & Garfunkel: Actual: "Are you coming to Scarborough Fair" Heard: "Are you going to start an affair?" ### Song: "Big Girls don't Cry" by ???: Actual: "I was cruel," Heard: "I was screwed." ### Song: "Set them free" by Sting: Actual: "Free free, set them free." Heard: "Free free, set elves free." ### Song: "Raspberry Beret" by Prince: Heard: "Red spherical ring," ### Actual: "Undercover angel, midnight fantasy." Heard: "Chocolate covered angel, midnight Tennessee" ### Song: "Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin: Actual: "Tryin' to find, tryin' to find where I been." Heard: "Can I buy, can I buy you a beer? ### Song: "Heart Shaped Box" by Nirvana: Actual: "Hey wait, I got a new complaint" Heard: "Hey wait, I got a rythm pain" ### Song: "Heart Shaped Box" by Nirvana: Actual: "forever in debt to your crisis in life" Heard: "forever in debt to your processor time" ###   Article: 20644 of eunet.jokes Path: ukc!sunsite.doc.ic.ac.uk!warwick!slxsys!plug.news.pipex.net!pipex!howland.reston.ans.net!nntp.crl.com!pacbell.com!tandem!nntp-hub2.barrnet.net!news3.near.net!news.ray.com!news.ed.ray.com!swlnews.msd.ray.com!ircmac-5512.msd.ray.com!user From: kim@gumby.msd.ray.com (youn ki kim) Newsgroups: rec.humor,eunet.jokes Subject: Re: Misheard lyrics Date: 13 Jun 1995 17:17:07 GMT Organization: Raytheon Company Lines: 18 Message-ID: References: <3r9leb$t57@uceng.uc.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: ircmac-5512.msd.ray.com Xref: ukc rec.humor:146283 eunet.jokes:20644 real: We don't need no education, We don't need no thought control. No dark sarcasm, in the classroom.... heard: We don't need no education, We don't need no Horse patrol. The Dukes of Hazzard, in the classroom... (thanks to my roomate) real: Big old jet airliner.... (Steve Miller Band) heard: Big old Aunt Jemima.... -Keri   Article: 20693 of eunet.jokes Newsgroups: rec.humor,eunet.jokes Path: ukc!sunsite.doc.ic.ac.uk!warwick!newsfeed.ed.ac.uk!dcs.ed.ac.uk!tardis.tardis.ed.ac.uk!not-for-mail From: sdh1@tardis.ed.ac.uk (Steve Hammond) Subject: Re: Misheard lyrics Message-ID: <3rn2vr$84e@tardis.tardis.ed.ac.uk> Sender: cnews@dcs.ed.ac.uk (UseNet News Admin) Organization: The Tardis Project, University of Edinburgh References: <3r9leb$t57@uceng.uc.edu> <3rmglbINNcid@s-crim1.dl.ac.uk> Date: Wed, 14 Jun 1995 16:32:59 GMT Lines: 14 Xref: ukc rec.humor:146417 eunet.jokes:20693 My friend swears blind that he hears: No I cant forget the semen on your face as you were leaving but I guess that's just they way the story goes... Made me chuckle... -- ____ _____ ____ __ __ ____ / ___)(_ _)| ___)\ \/ / | ___) | Steve Hammond, Poster of News \___ \ | | | _)_ \ / | _)_ | Email: sdh1@tardis.ed.ac.uk (____/ |_| |____) \/ |____) | The Tardis Project, Edinburgh Uni   Article: 20711 of eunet.jokes Newsgroups: rec.humor,eunet.jokes Path: ukc!sunsite.doc.ic.ac.uk!warwick!nott-cs!trent-doc!chris!hnd1rpr From: hnd1rpr@chris (Prichard Robert) Subject: Re: Misheard lyrics X-Nntp-Posting-Host: chris Message-ID: Followup-To: rec.humor,eunet.jokes Sender: news@doc.ntu.ac.uk Organization: The Nottingham Trent University, DOC. X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2] References: <3r2aps$meb@khis_news.khis.kodak.com> <3r9r6s$5jf@inet-nntp-gw-1.us.oracle.com> Date: Wed, 14 Jun 1995 13:40:42 GMT Lines: 12 Xref: ukc rec.humor:146479 eunet.jokes:20711 I always thought that Africa by Toto(?) went: I blocked the drains down in Africa...... It is in fact I blessed the rains.... -- ----------------------------------------------------------------- |Robert Pritchard, Nottingham-Trent Uni | Jesus built | |http://callisto.girton.cam.ac.uk/users/hnd1rpr| _MY_ | |hnd1rpr@doc.ntu.ac.uk | hotrod | -----------------------------------------------------------------   Article: 20747 of eunet.jokes Path: ukc!sunsite.doc.ic.ac.uk!warwick!slxsys!plug.news.pipex.net!edi.news.pipex.net!pipex!howland.reston.ans.net!cs.utexas.edu!convex!cnn.exu.ericsson.se!erinews.ericsson.se!sunic!sunic.sunet.se!isgate!news.rhi.hi.is!jfh From: jfh@rhi.hi.is (Johann Fridgeir Haraldsson) Newsgroups: rec.humor,eunet.jokes Subject: Re: Misheard lyrics Date: 16 Jun 1995 11:18:05 GMT Organization: University of Iceland Lines: 12 Message-ID: <3rrp9d$8t8@eldborg.rhi.hi.is> NNTP-Posting-Host: hekla.rhi.hi.is Xref: ukc rec.humor:146634 eunet.jokes:20747 In that song "You've lost that loving feeling" there is a line where the singer goes: "But don't, don't, don't..." and then most of the time it seems to be followed by "let it slip away" or something like that. At one time though, I am sure he says: "But don't, don't, don't, don't masturbate" jfh.   Article: 20791 of eunet.jokes Path: ukc!snipe.ukc.ac.uk!M.Dye From: M.Dye@ukc.ac.uk (mwgd1) Newsgroups: rec.humor,eunet.jokes Subject: Re: Misheard lyrics Date: Mon, 19 Jun 95 11:50:07 BST Organization: University of Kent at Canterbury, UK. Lines: 12 Sender: M.Dye@ukc.ac.uk Message-ID: <218@snipe.ukc.ac.uk> References: <3s3kh1$svq@crocus.csv.warwick.ac.uk> Reply-To: M.Dye@ukc.ac.uk (mwgd1) NNTP-Posting-Host: snipe.ukc.ac.uk Xref: ukc rec.humor:147129 eunet.jokes:20791 The Police - Message in a Bottle Real: "Message in a bottle ..." Heard: "Massage in a brothel ..." Matt -- ------------------------------------------------------- Matthew Dye * Department of Psychology * Extension 3080 URL ftp://ftp.ukc.ac.uk/pub/mwgd1   Article: 20792 of eunet.jokes Path: ukc!sunsite.doc.ic.ac.uk!geriatrix.bangor.ac.uk!clss3!mau059 From: mau059@clss1.bangor.ac.uk (D.M.Rigby) Newsgroups: rec.humor,eunet.jokes Subject: Re: Misheard lyrics Date: 19 Jun 1995 12:05:02 GMT Organization: University of Wales, Bangor. Lines: 16 Message-ID: <3s3p5e$mom@geriatrix.bangor.ac.uk> References: <218@snipe.ukc.ac.uk> NNTP-Posting-Host: clss3.bangor.ac.uk X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5 Xref: ukc rec.humor:147136 eunet.jokes:20792 Abba's Chiquitita: heard: Chicken Tikka Queen Bohemian Rhapsody actual: Beelzebub has a devil set aside for me heard: Beelzebub has a devil for a son, poor me -- Dawn ========================================================================= | Scientists have calculated that the chance of anything so patently | | absurd actually existing are millions to one. | | But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine | | times out of ten. | | (Terry Pratchett - Mort) | =========================================================================   Article: 20851 of eunet.jokes Path: ukc!sunsite.doc.ic.ac.uk!agate!howland.reston.ans.net!news-e1a.megaweb.com!newstf01.news.aol.com!newsbf02.news.aol.com!not-for-mail From: niccaalyce@aol.com (NiccaAlyce) Newsgroups: eunet.jokes,rec.humor Subject: Re: The Humorous Compendium of Mysheard Lirics Date: 22 Jun 1995 02:07:57 -0400 Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364) Lines: 27 Sender: root@newsbf02.news.aol.com Message-ID: <3sb1bt$70f@newsbf02.news.aol.com> References: Reply-To: niccaalyce@aol.com (NiccaAlyce) Xref: ukc eunet.jokes:20851 rec.humor:147636 Here are some more lyrics. I think that REM should be a separate category in themselves, for all the screwed-up interpretations I've got. "Monty Got a Raw Deal", REM Actual: "I went walking through the street, A woman knelt there, said to me: She said, 'Just let go.' " Heard: "I went walking through the street, A woman helped herself to me. I said, 'Just let go. Just let go.' " Song: "Star 69", REM Actual: "I knew you'd call, I knew you'd call, star 69." Heard: "I know you, Paul, I know you Paul. Start 69." ************ NiccaAlyce@aol.com "After a while it becomes natural. Like a third sense." ---Homer Simpson, the camping episode   Article: 20862 of eunet.jokes Newsgroups: eunet.jokes,rec.humor Path: ukc!sunsite.doc.ic.ac.uk!warwick!slxsys!plug.news.pipex.net!pipex!soap.news.pipex.net!pipex!edi.news.pipex.net!pipex!howland.reston.ans.net!spool.mu.edu!torn!watserv2.uwaterloo.ca!watserv3.uwaterloo.ca!shrimp.watstar.uwaterloo.ca!NBBOLDT From: NBBOLDT@WHEEL.watstar.uwaterloo.ca (N Boldt) Subject: Re: The Humorous Compendium of Mysheard Lirics Message-ID: Lines: 10 Sender: news@watserv3.uwaterloo.ca Nntp-Posting-Host: shrimp.watstar.uwaterloo.ca Organization: University of Waterloo References: Date: Wed, 21 Jun 1995 16:48:53 GMT Xref: ukc eunet.jokes:20862 rec.humor:147691 >Song : "Another Brick In The Wall" by Pink Floyd: >Actual: "We don't need no education, we don't need no ???" >Heard: "We don't need no education, we don't need no birth control." "Thought control." -- Nyk   Article: 20886 of eunet.jokes Path: ukc!sunsite.doc.ic.ac.uk!warwick!slxsys!plug.news.pipex.net!pipex!cam.news.pipex.net!pipex!edi.news.pipex.net!pipex!howland.reston.ans.net!news.cac.psu.edu!tsppp35.cac.psu.edu!bfs111 From: bfs111@psu.edu (Benjamin Stern) Newsgroups: rec.humor,eunet.jokes Subject: Re: Misheard lyrics Date: Fri, 23 Jun 1995 01:59:35 GMT Organization: CAC Lines: 23 Message-ID: References: <3r4f1b$p4v@khis_news.khis.kodak.com> <3s0ha8$edq@godzilla.zeta.org.au> <3s6qbo$11e@macondo.dmu.ac.uk> <3s9hb6$bk6@tardis.tardis.ed.ac.uk> <5EMwlmyjdo4B057yn@oslonett.no> NNTP-Posting-Host: tsppp35.cac.psu.edu X-Newsreader: Trumpet for Windows [Version 1.0 Rev B] Xref: ukc rec.humor:148019 eunet.jokes:20886 In article <5EMwlmyjdo4B057yn@oslonett.no> nobody@oslonett.no (No Name) writes: >Path: news.cac.psu.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!Germany.EU.net!EU.net!Norway.EU.net!telepost.no!oslonett.no!oslonett.no!not-for-mail >From: nobody@oslonett.no (No Name) >Newsgroups: rec.humor,eunet.jokes >Subject: Re: Misheard lyrics >Date: 22 Jun 1995 08:54:04 +0200 >Organization: Oslonett public access >Lines: 3 >Message-ID: <5EMwlmyjdo4B057yn@oslonett.no> >References: <3r4f1b$p4v@khis_news.khis.kodak.com> <3s0ha8$edq@godzilla.zeta.org.au> <3s6qbo$11e@macondo.dmu.ac.uk> <3s9hb6$bk6@tardis.tardis.ed.ac.uk> >NNTP-Posting-Host: sinsen.oslonett.no >Song 'The first cut is the deepest' >actual : The first cut is the deepest' >heard : The first guy is the DJ teh rem song man on the moon : real : mr charel darwin had rthe gall to ask heard : mr charles darwin had a golden ass rem " its the end of the world as we know it ( an i feel fine ) real ": its time i had some time alonwe hear ; its time i took soem tylenol   Article: 20893 of eunet.jokes Newsgroups: eunet.jokes,rec.humor Path: ukc!sunsite.doc.ic.ac.uk!plug.news.pipex.net!pipex!soap.news.pipex.net!pipex!edi.news.pipex.net!pipex!oleane!jussieu.fr!univ-lyon1.fr!swidir.switch.ch!scsing.switch.ch!news.rccn.net!master.di.fc.ul.pt!news.inesc.pt!vega!ffs From: ffs@vega (Filipe Santos) Subject: Re: The Humorous Compendium of Mysheard Lirics Message-ID: Sender: usenet@inesc.pt Nntp-Posting-Host: vega.inesc.pt Organization: INESC - Inst. Eng. Sistemas e Computadores, LISBOA. PORTUGAL. X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL3 References: Date: Fri, 23 Jun 1995 17:28:27 GMT Lines: 29 Xref: ukc eunet.jokes:20893 rec.humor:148068 deep@ping.be (Deepak 'Deep' Mehta) writes: : ### : : Song: " I Can See Clearly Now" by Johnny Nash: : : Actual: "I can see all obstacles in my way." : : Heard: "I can see all popscicles in my way..." : Song: " I Can See Clearly Now" by Johnny Nash: Actual: "I can see clearly now, the rain is gone" Heard: "I can see Deidre now, Lorraine is gone" -- +-------------------------------------+----------------------------------+ | Filipe Santos | Work Phone : +351 1 3100 304 | | Grupo 1222 | Work Fax : +351 1 525 843 | | Eng Servicos | E-mail : ffs@vega.inesc.pt | | INESC | | | Rua Alves Redol, 9, Sala 532 | "mmmmmm mm mmmm mmm mm mmmmm" | | 1000 LISBOA, PORTUGAL. | xxxxxx | +-------------------------------------+----------------------------------+   Article: 20916 of eunet.jokes Path: ukc!sunsite.doc.ic.ac.uk!agate!howland.reston.ans.net!news-e1a.megaweb.com!newstf01.news.aol.com!newsbf02.news.aol.com!not-for-mail From: superday@aol.com (SUPER DAY) Newsgroups: eunet.jokes Subject: All the leaves are brown Date: 26 Jun 1995 02:29:43 -0400 Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364) Lines: 7 Sender: root@newsbf02.news.aol.com Message-ID: <3slk4n$ojh@newsbf02.news.aol.com> Reply-To: superday@aol.com (SUPER DAY) NNTP-Posting-Host: newsbf02.mail.aol.com from california Dreaming Actual by the Mamas and the Papas: All the leaves are brown, and the sky is grey. As understood by my Puerto Rican friend: Old Melissa Brown, and this guy is gay...   Article: 20925 of eunet.jokes Path: ukc!sunsite.doc.ic.ac.uk!plug.news.pipex.net!pipex!edi.news.pipex.net!pipex!gwen.pcug.co.uk!kate.ibmpcug.co.uk!mkbbs.co.uk!paul.winder From: paul.winder@mkbbs.co.uk Newsgroups: eunet.jokes Date: Sun, 25 Jun 95 18:31 +0000 Message-ID: Subject: Re: Misheard lyrics Organization: MKBBS +44 (0)1908 234583/695009/671650 Lines: 66 TO: SDH1@TARDIS.ED.AC.UK s(>Newsgroups: rec.humor,eunet.jokes s(>Path: s(>ibmpcug!gwen.pcug.co.uk!cam.news.pipex.net!pipex!soap.news.pipex.net! pip s(>ex!edi.news.pipex.net! From: sdh1@tardis.ed.ac.uk (Steve Hammond) s(>Subject: Re: Misheard lyrics s(>Message-ID: <3s9hb6$bk6@tardis.tardis.ed.ac.uk> s(>Sender: cnews@dcs.ed.ac.uk (UseNet News Admin) s(>Organization: The Tardis Project, University of Edinburgh s(>References: s(><3r4f1b$p4v@khis_news.khis.kodak.com> <3s0h Date: Wed, 21 Jun 1995 s(>16:28:22 GMT Lines: 18 s(>Xref: ibmpcug rec.humor:119740 eunet.jokes:12983 s(>In the Christian Christmas song 'Away in A Manger' that we used to s(>sing at school, we were convinced that the line: s(> The cattle were lowing s(>was supposed to be: s(> The cattle were loaded s(>Kids eh? These are 'mistaught' as opposed to 'misheard' lyrics: My Dad taught me the following: Hark, the herald angels sing, Beecham's pills are just the thing. Peace on earth and mercy mild, Two for a man and one for a child. If you want to go to heaven, You must take a dose of seven. If you want to go to hell, Take the bloody box as well. 'nuther: Good King Wenceslas last looked out, on the feast of Stephen Someone bopped him on the snout, made his face uneven. Brightly shone the stars he saw, for the blow was cruel Then the doctor came in sight riding on a muuu-ooo-ell. and: while shepherds washed their socks at night, all seated round the tub. A lump of fairy soap came down and they began to scrub. Christmas is coming.. time to start practising. Paul paul.winder@mkbbs.co.uk --- þ CMPQwk #1.42-21þ UNREGISTERED EVALUATION COPY