JACK SCHITT....

When somebody tells you that you don't know Jack Schitt, now you will know
the entire story.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt and Oh Schitt.  Awe Schitt, the
fertilizer magnate,
married Oh Schitt, the owner of the Kneedeep Schitt Inn.
Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and they produced six children.

Holy Schitt, their first, passed on shortly after childbirth.  Next came
twin sons, Deep Schitt and
Dip Schitt; two daughters, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt; another son Bull
Schitt.  Deep Schitt
married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout; Dip Schitt married Lotta Schitt
and they have a
son, Chicken Schitt.  Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt married the Happens
Brothers.  The
Schitt-Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt, and Cowe Schitt.

Now you know Jack Schitt.